About this Journal
Current Month
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930
Jun. 23rd, 2008 @ 11:23 am Voices #45 - "A simple question makes you look away..."
Tags: ,

"Papa... who is the man that shows up in my dreams from time to time with the Black Jewel?"

You've never been able to look at me and answer that question, Saetan. You never have. Every time I mention it, you turn your head away from me, but not before I see the sadness that flares up in your eyes. I know that you know who he is. I know that you're hiding something important from me, but what I don't understand is why.

Or maybe I do.

He has something to do with the accident that robbed me of two years of my life and my memories, doesn't he? He was there or he knows what happened. Does he know who hurt me... is he acting in your name even now to make sure they never harm us again?

Who is he, Papa? Who is he and why does thinking about whom he might be cause you pain and me emptiness? Who is the shadowy figure that I can never catch hold of... no matter how deep into the Abyss I try to go to get the answers?

Answers that I know you have.

Answers that you are not giving me.

Who is he and what shattered pieces of memory does he hold?

And again... you look away from the question... or from me.

Why, High Lord?

What is so devastating that you will not answer that one question?


Muse: Jaenelle Angelline
Fandom: Anne Bishop's "Black Jewels"
Word Count: 240
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Mar. 11th, 2008 @ 02:52 pm Voices #33-- What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger... Do You Agree or Disagree?
Tags: ,

There are times that I both agree and disagree with this sentiment.

I look at Daemon and Lucivar and I see that the things that Dorothea and Hekatah did to them didn't kill them outright. I know that she thought they would break under the strain of what was being done. They wanted them to break, wanted them to agree to anything that the two of them wanted to do. Daemon and Lucivar didn't break. They survived and they stayed who they were. They never turned their backs on their Blood or on their morals. They both took everything that was done to them and used it to mold into them and shape the strength of who they have become.

I look at the Coven and the Boyos and I wonder at the things they have survived being done and how they were forced to change certain things because of the taint in the Blood.

I speak to Karla and I watch her, and I remember what is happening in Glacia and what Papa was afraid would happen to her. She is safe and is not broken, she is whole. But was it all of these things that helped to make her stronger or just her internal strength of will?

Then I look back over the things that happened to me in my childhood. Did those events make me stronger? I'm not sure if they did or not. They made me more cautious, and made me less tolerant of another's pain...less accepting of another's cruelty... but did they make me stronger for having survived them?

I really don't think that's a question that I can clearly answer.


Muse: Jaenelle Angelline
Fandom: "Black Jewels" series by Anne Bishop
Words: 277
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jan. 9th, 2008 @ 10:34 pm 023 - Do you believe in an afterlife? What do you expect to find when you get there?
Tags: ,

Of course I do.

There is the Darkness and I have spent most of my life in and out of it as I have been needed.

But I do not think that you definition of the Afterlife is the same as the realm that I know of.

I know the Darkness and becoming as one with the webs and being in Hell with those that have held on past the death of their bodies. I know the Darkness where you commune with Mother Night and try to ease the soul pain of the ones that have been torn from their life and their webs to soon.

I know that such a thing does exist.

I tend to spend a lot of time there with ones that should have lived much longer lives.


Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "Black Jewels" by Anne Bishop
Words: 132
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Oct. 19th, 2007 @ 01:31 pm 006 - What makes you lose your temper?
There are several things that can make me lose my temper. Attacking the Kindred. Hurting my family. Messing with Karla. Assaulting or otherwise hurting someone weaker who cannot fight back.

However, if you want to know what causes the rage to build and Witch to spiral faster than anything?

Try abusing a witch.

I don't like it. I don't accept it. I will break you for it.

I won't put up with it. Hurting, abusing, trying to break a witch... I have no self-control over my reactions when I find out about it. I will make you pay. The price you will pay for that crime is a high one... and then after you are dead, I'll hand you over to the High Priest of the Hourglass... the High Lord of Hell... Saetan... my Papa.

You don't want to challenge me on this.

You don't want to see me lose my temper.


Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "Black Jewels" by Anne Bishop
Words: 152
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Aug. 15th, 2007 @ 04:31 am Who Am I? ([info]voicesinmyhead)
Tags: ,

Who am I?

I have many names.

Jaenelle. Witch-Child. Waif. Brat. Witch. Queen. Cat.

That last one only Lucivar is allowed to call me. Big brothers get certain extra rights.

My name doesn't make up who I am, not even close.

I am Jaenelle, born Angelline and later given the choice to take on the name SaDiablo -- the name of my real family.

Relatives. Are. Not. Family.

I am Jaenelle, and I understand that it doesn't give you any more of a clue as to who I am.

I'm Witch. I'm Dreams Made Flesh. I'm the one who has been prophecized for hundreds of years to be born into flesh and save those of the Blood who have stayed true to the Ways.

That's a great burden to be born knowing about and there are those that would be happy to use any means neccessary to stop me -- and believe me, they have been creative in this. They have tried to break me and to kill me, even as a child. Yet, alive and whole I remain and it makes them angry.

Of course, they would be just as happy to corrupt me, control me, and use my powers to further their web of evil. That will never happen. My powers are not for evil. My magic is not for killing -- unless I have no choice. I will not allow it to happen -- and niether will any of those that love me.

Who am I?

I'm Jaenelle. That's the most important fact that anyone needs to know.



Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "Black Jewels" by Anne Bishop
Words: 261
About this Entry
Leave a comment
Permanent Link